I hope you’re all enjoying the renaissance of spring weather, whether it puts a spring in your step because you’re downloading more vitamin D from the extra sunlight, or you’re reinvigorated by being able to spend more time outdoors with your horses or in your gardens; working, walking, just being outdoors in that capricious, changeable weather, dodging showers and looking for a rainbow’s end, listening for cuckoos or wondering why weeds germinate quicker than any cultivated plant. It’s enough to get a cynical old cavalière planning and planting again.
I have to admit that I’ve spent more time in the garden than in the saddle of late and whilst I’m furiously weeding, followed by horses standing on the other side of the garden fence willing me to throw them their favourite weeds (dandelions and goosegrass/stickybobs are the favourites,) I’ve been mulling over all the things I’ve been reading recently about animal communicators or pet psychics.
It started with an article in my regular French horse magazine, “Cheval Pratique”. They sent a journalist on a day course to tune in to psychic animal communication with a professional dressage rider (and an admirably open mind).
The tutor, firstly, advised her small group of students to “centre themselves”, through sitting comfortably with feet firmly planted and no distractions. They were asked to breathe regularly and put themselves into a receptive frame of mind, then hone their senses through imagining themselves walking through a meadow, hearing a church bell ringing in the distance, visualising a chocolate cake and imagining its wonderful smell and succulent taste (this is France, different criteria may apply in other locations!).
The journalist and the other students had photographs of the animals they wanted to contact, and asked their questions …………
Around the same time I saw that on www.theliteraryhorse.wordpress.com the question was being posed, “Have you used an animal psychic?” to which the responses were many and varied. Several respondents sidled up to the subject warily, only to be disarmed by a seemingly accurate reading of their horses’ feelings by their utterly plausible animal communicators.
And following on from a comment there, I visited www.thepetpsychic.com After becoming far too absorbed (when I should have been ticking off jobs on my outdoor ”To Do” list,) watching the attractive Californian lady telling two laconic mounted policemen what their horses were thinking, I decided I should be outdoors interrogating the three muchachos in person.
“Aly, Pom and Pie, I have my feet firmly planted and am breathing in a deep and regular fashion, listening to church bells and wistfully imagining the taste of chocolate gâteau. I have you right here in front of me, so I guess I won’t be needing to talk to the photo. This is your moment; you have my full attention, is there anything you want to tell me?”
Aly: ”Did you remember my birthday today?”
Me: ”Of course, how could I forget, you’re 28 today! Do you remember that funny song we sang to you at breakfast time, ‘Happy Birthday, Dear Aly’ – well that’s how we humans celebrate birthdays. Then we have a cake with candles on, which we light and blow out and make a wish, then we open a bottle of …… I see you’re looking puzzled ….. well all the extra carrots and sugar lumps, and the spa day makeover, with the mane and tail trim and the full spring grooming routine, that was your special birthday treat.”
Aly (unimpressed): “Oh, yeah. Well you can keep the beauty treatments. I know it’s officially spring. I heard the cuckoos. When are you going to let us on to the spring grass?”
Me: “Very soon my darling. Pie, what would you like to add?”
Pie: “Lalalala lalala, ears too hairy, too busy eating, oink, go away you annoying little …(translated to avoid offence) Spaniard.”
Me: “Pom, as a minority immigrant worker in our small community, do you have a point of view you’d like to get across?”
Pom: “Si. I am just a young hombre and I am still waiting for all the bulls to fight. All you old people are so boring, when is the corrida?”
Me: (deep sigh) “OK guys, can we just get back to the scenario when I got to tell you what we were going to do and you pretended you couldn’t hear, but went along with the plan anyway because you knew I held the keys to the food cupboard?”
Aly, Pom and Pie: (deep silence)
Me: “I’ll take that as an affirmative then.”
Happy Easter everyone!